As it happens, Jeremy was as much giving for the New Ideas Department as a roller-coaster affected gravity. This was unfortunately no fault of his own, which he could perhaps rectify, but instead a cruel twist of fate, nature, God or similar, to have been put on the National Lottery and winning a position on the Let's Fix Everything Board. The nation was indeed falling apart, making such a committee necessary, but at the end of the day, there was no realistic way of solving all the problems it faced. Hence Jeremy decided to go the country and instead live as a peasant in some far away land that couldn't possibly know of his homeland and thus reduced his chances of being outed to very nearly zero.
For this grand journey, Jeremy packed with him seven ham sandwiches and an apple. He mounted his trusty donkey - having attached to it all four of his pants, an extra shirt and three and a half trousers encased in a large raincoat inside a woolly and warm coat - and made for the Mountains of Jeff. Within minutes he was at the border of his land and sought exit as the guards tried quietly to sneak off for a nap, putting their faith in the honesty of any trespasser that might wish to cross the border on the line, hoping they would wait to be inspected by the men of patrol. This presented a grave dilemma for Jeremy as he took great pride in his honesty and respect for authority figures, even if he didn't know how or why exactly those men were appointed to be the single largest body of authority when it came to crossing the borders of the country. However, he felt the needs of one outweighed the needs of many, that being the need for escape outweighing the need for general order and peaceful coexistence and therefore he silently crept past the sleeping figures and slowly picked up more speed as he went along, eventually managing a fast walking pace, because the donkey really was quite an inappropriate beast when it came to methods of transportation.
As the night fell, he realised he was not making much progress as the mountains were still ever so far away and he was on his third to last sandwich. He looked at the apple in disgust and scanned the horizon for any possible outcroppings of civilisation that seemed due for riding a rather uncomfortable donkey for a day in, literally, very plain landscape. He dismounted the donkey and relieved himself on the base of the single tree he had met in his entire journey and felt foolish almost immediately afterwards. Thus he crossed the rode straight, dragging his donkey behind him and sat down on the land staring at, what could have been, a lovely shade for the next morning. The donkey sat on its side as comfortable as ever and Jeremy used his body as a pillow.
For this grand journey, Jeremy packed with him seven ham sandwiches and an apple. He mounted his trusty donkey - having attached to it all four of his pants, an extra shirt and three and a half trousers encased in a large raincoat inside a woolly and warm coat - and made for the Mountains of Jeff. Within minutes he was at the border of his land and sought exit as the guards tried quietly to sneak off for a nap, putting their faith in the honesty of any trespasser that might wish to cross the border on the line, hoping they would wait to be inspected by the men of patrol. This presented a grave dilemma for Jeremy as he took great pride in his honesty and respect for authority figures, even if he didn't know how or why exactly those men were appointed to be the single largest body of authority when it came to crossing the borders of the country. However, he felt the needs of one outweighed the needs of many, that being the need for escape outweighing the need for general order and peaceful coexistence and therefore he silently crept past the sleeping figures and slowly picked up more speed as he went along, eventually managing a fast walking pace, because the donkey really was quite an inappropriate beast when it came to methods of transportation.As the night fell, he realised he was not making much progress as the mountains were still ever so far away and he was on his third to last sandwich. He looked at the apple in disgust and scanned the horizon for any possible outcroppings of civilisation that seemed due for riding a rather uncomfortable donkey for a day in, literally, very plain landscape. He dismounted the donkey and relieved himself on the base of the single tree he had met in his entire journey and felt foolish almost immediately afterwards. Thus he crossed the rode straight, dragging his donkey behind him and sat down on the land staring at, what could have been, a lovely shade for the next morning. The donkey sat on its side as comfortable as ever and Jeremy used his body as a pillow.
The next day Jeremy awoke to a strange noise not dissimilar to such that he had made himself just a night ago. Opening his eyes granted him a grand sight of a slightly blueish, elongated figure adjusting his trousers just under the vary same tree Jeremy has foolishly ruined for himself one moment, but perhaps saved himself from further embarrassment on this day. The figure acknowledged Jeremy and waved in a friendly manner after wiping its hands with a sort of a wet tissue. Jeremy waved back in reply and raised himself to his feet. His donkey did the same and pondered slowly on the relative positive and negative sides of anarchism. It decided on anarchy being the one and only true way of reaching any proper goals any sentient being can set for itself and thus set off.
Nobody was quite interested in that ordeal as the blue creature beckoned Jeremy to his side and when he complied they both were teleported to the spaceship in orbit around Jeremy's home planet. So far, he hadn't seen farther than the Mountains of Jeff, but now the planet lay before him and was slowly shrinking as the hologram zoomed out, firstly showing other planets and the local sun and then continuing on for quite some time and would have been quite informative had anyone stayed to stare at it.
Jeremy was being smiled at quite kindly and in a way that made him wish he had a sandwich to be offered for the kind smiles, but alas he was no longer in possession of neither any sandwiches, an apple, a donkey or even any change of clothes so most he could manage was a hopeful smile in response as he was offered a plate of wavy, thin, rather tasty snacks with a slightly yellowish tint. He munched on the whole plate and expressed gratitude with a great big smile and he was promptly prompted with another helping. With that he was directed to a single room that seemed to be covered in mud from the inside. This reminded Jeremy of the home of his mother where he lived before becoming a very unimaginative accountant.
A lively robin suddenly flew in as the doors to Jeremy's quarters opened and the tall alien entered with a large basket of the snacks and put it down on the floor. It beckoned at Jeremy as had been done before and following, he discovered a massive mess hall where there was a large population of humans, among many other humanoid alien species. Everyone was enjoying the wavy, salty snack and smiled as Jeremy walked past them. Jeremy smiled as well and was handed a large portion. A big portion of every day was spent in the big mess hall with everybody, its main objective to enjoy the snack. At night, a pondering waved through the thoughts of many a inhabitants of the nutritional value of this crispy foodstuff among the merits of being in this place in the first place.
It came to be that as days passed, no change took place. Everybody enjoyed the magnificent arrangement and thus all was well. But it came to pass that suddenly a Grand Space Being in the shape of a lumbering donkey took a enormous bite out of the place in which all of this was housed and thus released chaos widespread. In this loss of control, the donkey was in response accidentally pushed into a nearby star, dooming all near to the event.
The resulting explosion of the star took out nearly all of the vessel that carried the blue aliens and everyone else. Only a small portion of sentients survived and often only by locking themselves in their own rooms with their own private baskets that they eventually donned as space armour, as they slowly lost their minds in their infinite solitude, and ventured with beyond their doors. A few survived alongside the commandeers of the spaceship and slowly, but steadily, all were marooned as supplies ran out and all hope was lost.
On Jeremy's planet, just as he had been disapparated from his own motherland, his country had lost all of its will to survive and thus appointed the mad donkey that ran into the government offices as Mainly Responsible. Surprisingly, he got everything pretty much on track and started a space program among many other things. His direct grandchildren were very much interested in all of grandpa's stories and in particular, Gigantor, took to the story of Jeremy. He dreamed of seeing all that was and thereby let go of all earthly binds and set forth to the stars. Travelling far and wide, Gigantor eventually developed a bit of a peckish tummy and was glad to learn of the nearby humongous Pringle, setting sail towards it almost momentarily. In this manner, the spaceship was confused with the actual humongous Pringle orbiting Saturn and destruction reigned in the following confusion.
A sage much farther in the future pondered the length of the tale versus the quality of tale and decided against it, it being a rather banal story that was made up as it went along, only to fill an arbitrary goal. Arbitrary goals did not worry this sage and neither did the lack of any dialogue anywhere, ever. Somehow everything simply progressed, without a sound being uttered. This seemed quite strange and almost impossible at first, but eventually the much more obvious truth was realised in a rather blunt manner - everything is quite well possible.
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